Serial Sunday – The Intruder


It’s Sunday and time for the Serial to continue.  If you have not read the previous entries, I would suggest going back to the First Serial Sunday post and following on from there before reading this one. If you have been along for the whole journey, thanks, and welcome back. 

                               The Intruder

A pain shot through Professor Hokum’s temple.

He clutched his head as he rolled on to his side and his eyes adjusted to the light. Through blurred vision he noticed the front door open wide, rain sweeping in along with the cold air. Hokum managed to shift his form into a seated position. The pain was there but would soon go. He would allow his natural medicines within his system to work magic, but until then, Hokum needed to move. 


The shout came across as nothing but a whimper. He attempted again and the second time was more of a croak. Hokum gave up on his voice and stumbled to his feet, falling to the wall and only just managed to stay in a standing position. The kick to the head had done more damage than Hokum wanted to believe but fought through the best he could. His vision was blurred and the first few movements he made were towards the front door. It wasn’t until the heavy rain splashed against him that he realised he was headed in the wrong direction. Hokum slammed the door shut and huddled up. It took a few moments for the nausea to pass, and once it did, he headed to his intended target, Evie’s room.

As he past through the building, there were no signs of foul play. Everything was where it was meant to be. That was until he reached the shattered door. Evie’s bedroom door was hanging off its hinges with shards of wood splintering out. Hokum rested against the wall, allowed his breathing to settle and the nausea to calm. 

In one swift movement, he gripped the smooth edge of the door and yanked it open with all of his strength. He stepped in expecting and fearing the worst. The room was immaculate and empty, with no sign of struggle and no sign of Evie. Everything was too much. His head floated into nothingness and the dim light turned to dark. 

“Who are you?” 

He smiled but did not say a thing.

“Who are you?” Evie repeated, running a delicate finger over the man’s blade that she held in her hand.

In the past few weeks of being held up in Hokum’s building, Evie had learnt a lot. The first was blending into the fixtures and being surreptitious. The other was thinking of all possible ways to defend herself. Since the night she saw the creatures of different origin to her, she had thought of ways to escape Professor Hokum’s grip. Now away and free, she wanted his guidance more than anything. But turning back would mean she had failed. There was something Hokum wasn’t telling her, and each time the subject was approached, the further the Professor descended into his own darkness. Evie had to take matters into her own hands. 

The tall ominous figure of the intruder sat tied to a wooden chair in the dimly lit tunnel beneath the park. It was once Evie’s permanent residence and it was her safety zone. The rain hit hard against the entrance, the light from the lamps billowing in and shining on the intruder. Blood seeped from his skull, the blow Evie made with a blunt tool she found in her room. Once the man had been disarmed, it did not take much to lead him to the unknown.

She was proud of herself and had to remain confident. She could not allow the intruder to see her weakness. Evie needed to go to extremes. She sauntered across the room, hid her nerves beneath a confident smile and slashed the blade across the man’s cheek.

“Next time it will be your throat. Tell me who you are and what you were after.”


16 thoughts on “Serial Sunday – The Intruder

  1. What an exciting installment. You captured Hokum’s feelings and experience perfectly. It felt as if I was experiencing everything through his blurred vision. And look at Evie kicking ass and taking names! Can’t wait to see who this person is and what they want. Ugh I wish these were bi-weekly or tri-weekly ;p

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I felt like I needed to add a new dimension to the story and bring out Evie’s instinctive side πŸ™‚ I have been tempted with the idea of adding instalments throughout the week but have yet persuaded myself to do so πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This serial is fantastic. There’s such a good sense of atmosphere and intensity. Beautiful writing. πŸ™‚ I’m excited for the next part! And yay for Evie holding out on her own.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ooh, Evie got her fight on! I do so love a strong female lead, and Evie’s really coming into her own.
    I’m excited to see where this goes! I wonder if she’ll go back to the professor, or if she’ll try to go elsewhere? She can clearly look after herself!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read and catch up on the posts. I really appreciate it πŸ™‚
      This story I have found is blossoming and really wanted to introduce Evie into the story more. Nice to hear to you wondering where the next part will lead πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m actually writing a physical list of all the blogs I want to stay caught up on every week, to make it easier ^^ Yours happens to be the first one on there! I’m writing it as I catch up, so it’s not in any specific order but I will catch up with yours before anyone else now πŸ™‚
        Evie seems like a strong character with lots of room for development, so I can’t help being intrigued!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I’m sure they won’t πŸ™‚
        It really is, I keep losing track of all the blogs I want to stay caught up with. Hopefully this list will help πŸ™‚ I can tick them off in pencil as I go, and then just erase the marks for the following week.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. What a thrilling installment! I love how you’ve taken Evie from the helpless creature abandoned on Hokum’s doorstep to this woman in possession of more power than anyone could have ever expected! I ALSO love how things have been turned on their heads with Hokum helpless to do anything and Evie in control. It’s a nice change of pace. Can’t wait to see where you take this next!
    As always, your writing brings such intensity to these scenes, bringing them to life πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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